God Is.

I have spent this fine Good Friday morning finishing off an amazing book called God Is. by David Adams Richards (one of my favorite Canadian fiction authors). I picked this book up in November motored through half of it in a day and forgot about it on my overcrowded bookshelf. For the past month I have been working through a bit of a spiritual slump and was overjoyed when the title leapt off my shelf. (hmmm....sound like a God thing??)

The back of the book has an awesome quote on it that intrigued me and pulled me in:

"I believe that all of us, even those who are atheists, seek God--or at the very least not one of us would be unhappy if God appeared and told us that the universe was actually His creation. Oh, we might put Him on trial for making it so hard, and get angry at Him, too, but we would be very happy that He is here. Well, He is."

The book was nothing like what I expected it to be, and I was suprised. Having read David Adams Richard's books I shouldn't have been. Despite the cheery and optimistic quote on the back, this book takes a dark walk through sin and back attempting to prove God exists by detailing what happens with the absence of Him. David Adams Richards struggled with alcholism for years, rubbed shoulders with murderers who were proud of what they have done and has seen evil up close and personal. This book reflects that.

Having read a few of David Adams Richards books I have always described them in this way: "I despise all the characters....and then I realize that I am just like". He has this uncanny gift of showing how "good" people turn "bad" and "bad" people turn "good". He takes us through the thought process of his antagonist's actions so that we understand why they have done what they have done and realize that we would have done the same thing ourselves. His books aren't what I would call "fun reads" but they are so real to life that it hurts...but then heals. Richards describes his characters in this way: "That's what the characters in my novels...have always been confronted with. They are plagued by sin-sinning themselves and being more sinned against then sinning." This non-fiction look at God is like his fiction books in that way. It is a very real, very dark look at God and the world.

His main arguements can be broken down into three categories: his thoughts on Revenge, his beliefs about murder, and his personal experience with faith and without it.

Richards talks about how we all know that there is wrong and right in the world otherwise if bad things were done to us we would have no reason to seek revenge because one action would be no different than another. We know when we are sinned against....we also know when we sin. Even if people tell us we haven't.

"If sin didn't exist there would be nothing to revenge" ~page 82

When we pick up our causes and try to fight for them ourselves rather than rely on God to exact true justice we become the very thing we are fighting against.

"If a man fights dragons, he sooner or later becomes one." pag 46

Richards talks about men like Stalin and Hitler and how they use their own personal power to sin against the world and then state that this power makes them some how exempt from sin. He talks about how our sins only differ from Stalin's and Hitler's
in terms of degree. They are no worse or better than we are.

"The degree does not negate the similarity-only a difference in kind can do this-and our actions, compared to millions before us, are not at all a difference of kind, but only a difference to a degree" pg 12.

Richards talks about murder as the ultimate sin and how all other sins attempt to lead to this. He describes murder as a the sin which attempt to build your life up and snuff it out in others. There are ways to murder someone emotionally and spiritually besides just ending their physical life.

"we tend to eliminate those around us who do not any longer fit with ourselves" pg 79

"the idea that Cain killed Abel because of his own failure is a problem most of us face in our lives". pg 83

"self righteousness is in the end the greatest curse man has" pg 103

"sooner or later hatred relies upon falsehood" 107

Most of Richards argument relies on his personal experiences and how much better life is with faith than without it. He talks about the human condition being two seperate conditions: the will to do evil and the fight against it. He talks about atheism and faith and how the individuals on either side are not perfect, but that the battle isn't really about the sides but the internal battle for faith.

"The internal battle is the actual battle"

"Yes. They failed within the church, but that did not meant that I did not fail outside of it" pg 41


"I did not agree with the faithful (or at least all they said), so much as disagree with the unfaithful (or those who say they do not have faith) pg 15

"Faith does not stop crime, or sin, or wrongdoing, or evil, or whatever we want to tag it. I am not saying it does, but it does always and forever, combat it" pg 94

"Sin is something we fight against and at times bravely fight against. There is a sense that it is foreign to the best part of us."

I am not sure if this book would convince anyone of God's existence but it does cover some of my main reasons for believing. It talks about the good and the world and the pull towards that. It also talks about the sin and how real it is. I have not lead a horrible life but I definitely know evil both within myself and the world. I love that Richards is so brutally honest about his shortcomings. I have always loved that faith frees us to be real because Jesus has taken away the penalty for our screw ups. I know that I like me better when I am actively believing because I am paying attention to the effect my actions have onteh world around me. When I walk away from God or even just become apathetic I am sorry to say it, but I become a bitch (pardon my language :). If I don't have something outside of myself to remind me what I am made for I live for myself and in doing this trample others. Richards describes it in this way, "Faith allows us peace only from the active, complicit rule of wrongful injury"

Although this book is dark it makes you stare at real life and weigh all the options. It makes me glad that God is here and that He has come. It makes me thankful for Jesus and for having heard His insist tuggings on my heart strings. It makes me glad that faith is universal and that at some level everyone knows it.

If this has intrigued you please read this book (or the Bible...that works too!). I highly recommend God is. and also the only David Adams Richards fiction book I have made it all the way through Mercy Among the children. I appreciate it even more now knowing Richards is a man of faith.

For my readers who read this blog on facebook just a reminder you can find my actual blog at magic-and-mystery.blogspot.com Blessings my friends on this glorious, blustery Good Friday. It's weather like this that has always made me know that God exists.

PS. God is referenced War and Peace so many times I was very glad that I had just finished reading it!!!

War and Peace-Original Version

If you are reading this on facebook please check magic-and-mystery.blogspot.com for my actual blog.

Time for yet another book review on Magic and Mystery. This one has taken me quite some time to complete so I am pretty excited to pass on the information to you. I purchased War and Peace-Original Version by Leo Tolstoy at a Books-a-Million in St. Louis for $7 and started reading it back in August. It has been a hard read but there is much of it that I have enjoyed. Sitting at just below 900 pages though I would hardly call it a summer read! Oddly enough by purchasing the original version I may have been in error as I discovered it differs slightly from the "normal" version in several ways possibly even in the ending so for those who have read the original I would love to hear if you find any glaring differences as I review it. I shocked several people by choosing this book to read, but I am a huge fan of Dostoyevsky and I wanted to know whether this meant I was a fan of Russian literature. I decided to tackle War and Peace despite a few misgivings, because honestly, I just was not interested in Anna Karenina.

First and formost the main thing that stuck out to me as I read was that I enjoyed the "Peace" parts far more than the "War". This may be the main difference between a female reader and a male reader...or it might just be me who despises war.

The other thing I noted as I read this book is that Tolstoy seems to be very fatalistic. In writing about war he states several times that individuals do not shape history but the collective conscience does. He also talks about how things happen as they should and that they unfold regardless of people's intentions. Here is a quote near the end of the book:

"everything that happens in a matter in which many people act together does not happen according to these people's will, but according to various zoological laws. and it is not given to man to foresee their outcome."

And earlier in the book:

"Fatalism is as rational in history as it is irrational in the individual. It is no accident that Solomon's saying- ' the kings heart is in God's hand' - became proverbial"

Tolstoy appears to believe that individuals have freedom of choice, but that freedom diminishes when you gather together large groups or people. It also decreases in direct proportion to the level of power and authority that you have. In this way, Tolstoy believe that Napolean was only acting on behalf of the people and not the monster that some people of his time made him out to be.

In comparison to Dostoyevsky I would say that I find Tolstoy's writing more contrived. Dostoyevsky writes of life amidst the poor class of society and deals with the root causes of dark human issues murder, jealousy, guilt etc. Tolstoy on the other hand focuses more on upper class society and attempting to find the meaning of life amidst all of the chaos and confusion in the world. Although Tolstoy's topic is lofty and he points to God in several passages of his book I find that his philosophizing does not feel as genuine as some of Dostoyevsky's writings. That being said, I do enjoy much of what he has to say about God and the meaning of life.

"Love, compassion for one's brothers, for those who love and hate us, yes, the love that was taught by God on earth, that Princess Marya tried to teach me-that is waht would remain to me if I were to live" ~Prince Andrei

"But for me, even now when I am dying, there is nothing certain in all this except for the pettiness of all that I understand and the greatness of something else, something incomprehensible but supremely important"

And Pierre, a passionate, but bumbling man who doesn't understand a lot (but lives passionately much like Peter of the bible) says, "Yes, my friend...there is a God in heaven and good on earth"

I did fall in love with characters who came to life and leapt off the page, but I had a hard time keeping track of a few of them, because there are many people throughout the book (much like in Dickens' novels). Some of my favorites include Princess Marya a young single girl who lives with her father and longs to get married, Prince Andrei, her brother who loses his young wife in child birth and struggles with the meaning of life and Pierre the passionate bumbling idiot who society laughs at but finds amusing.

Although this book is long, and parts of it are hard to read I would recommend it to others. I would, however, recommend reading another lighter book at the same time though to balance the heaviness of this one. The next two books I am reading are "Under the Dome" By Stephen King a book about a community that gets trapped under a mysterious dome and the chaos that insues in their society (kind of like Lord of the Flies) and "The 1001 nights" aka The Arabian Nights. Make sure to check back for updates on those. Since "Under the Dome" is 1000 pages I may finish Arabian nights first!

Valentines Retreat: Day 2

So today has been one of the most perfect days ever. I think I may have just started a new valentines tradtion!!!

The morning started off with me waking up at 9. Since I ate late in the day yesterday I never ate dinner (just a cookie and popcorn) I was starving. I wandered downtown to find a place to eat breakfast and stumbled upon a little cafe. After eating breakfast (toast and fruit)I made my way to Mirage Cafe to have a latte decorated with beautiful latte Art



Next I ventured futher downtown exploring stores as I went. I had been sent on a mission to find my grandma some large peice puzzles so I walked the 7 blocks to Value Village and found one! I was excited to run across some of the homeless outreach locations I had heard so much about such as Street Links. On the way back I walked through Chinatown and stumbled upon a demonstration (I think raising awareness about missing or murdered women)



I then proceeded to walk the 10 blocks back to the hotel and drop off all the goodies I bought (which included tea, jewelery, and perfume) and then head to Miniature world. I hadn't been there since I was 8 and it is still a delightful place as an adult. Wee versions of things are just so darling.


Next I wandered aimlessly, feeling quite tired but wanting to go to High Tea at the Empress. I arrived at 2:45 trying to hit "real" high tea at 3PM. Unfortunately it was sold out, and I couldn't get a seating until 3:30. I waited in the lobby trying to rest my feet and it was definitely worth the wait...and the insane price. Tea coast $44 but included chocolate strawberries, little sandwiches, fancy pastries, a huge pot of tea. It also includes a box of Empress Tea bags to take home.




I decided to make the trek to Moka House having heard about it a few years ago. It was well worth the walk. The place was packed and the special latte today was a cinnamon heart inspired latte. It was delicious. By the time I arrived back at the hotel I was still full, so I waited a bit before going to dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory. It was a zoo thanks to it being Valentines day and I had to wait for 40 minutes to get seated but it was worth it.

I also had bubble number 2 tonight, gotta love pink glittery, suds. I head home tomorrow, but I plan on taking my time as I don't have to go back to work until Wednesday. I fear the final total of Operation: Valentines Retreat will be far more then I ever would have expected someone else to spend on me. Oh well, it has definitely been worth it. It is not every day that you get to spoil yourself rotten.

Operation: Valentines Retreat

(crazy display at Murchies Tea)

I have never been a huge fan of Valentines Day, but that being said I have never been Anti-valentines either. I have been single on Valentines day my entire life so most years the day makes little difference to me. Generally, I believe that Valentines is one of those "Hallmark holidays" and should therefore be discounted. However I haven't been as able to ignore it these last few years. I guess the older I get the more I long to have a super girly, over-the-top valentines day. (Perhaps this is my biological clock ticking). However, not being one to feel sorry for myself, I decided to plan my own over-the-top valentines retreat. This is the second year in a row I have had to use holidays in February and I am not a huge fan of taking a vacation and staying at home. After combing the internet for deals and taking stock of what I really wanted out of a holiday, I came to the conclusion I wanted to take a retreat and have nothing but "Me" time doing exactly what I wanted. I found a cheap hotel in Victoria (just because I wanted something over the top doesn't mean I had to spend a lot of money) and went from there. I found a hotel that was centrally located so I wouldn't have to stress myself out by navigating the one way streets of Victoria and set about planning activities within a few blocks radius of the hotel.

So far today I have gone shopping in two malls, eaten "linner" or "lupper" (a meal somewhere between lunch and dinner) at Red Robin, bought tea at Murchies, bath stuff at Lush, drank coffee at Blenz, read 1001 One Nights aka Arabian Nights while curled in a chair, taken a bubble bath and climbed into bed.



(night time view from my hotel room)

Tomorrow, another day of relaxation and fun will ensue. I intend to take a nice walk to the water and find Moka House coffee shop which I have heard all about. After that I think I'll go to Miniature World (which I loved when I was 8). Then continue shopping down town (but hopefully at a much more relaxed pace). At some point I would like to stop at Mirage coffee that apparently does beautiful latte art. Lastly, I will have dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory (provided that is if I can get a seat what with it being Valentines and all). The only unfortunate part of travelling alone is eating alone in restraunts...not the greatest thing to do in the world (but potentially a source of some great people watching when you are not being stared at yourself). Of course I will take a second bubble bath with the remainder of my pink glittery bath bomb. Monday I will mosey on home possibly stopping in Nanaimo on an errand for my aunt and grandma. Happy Valentines all!! What will you do to treat yourself right tomorrow??



(pink, glittery bubble bath)

Christmas Eve

I love Christmas Eve! The sense of expectation is so strong that it colours everything that happens. I discovered after some reflection this year that my favorite Christmas carols are the ones that show what it would have been like waiting for a Saviour to be born.

Here are two of my favorite lines:

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining/ Til He appeared/ and the soul felt its worth/ A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices" ~ O Holy Night

"O come, O come Emmanuel/ and ransom captive Israel/ that mourns in lonely exile here/ Until the Son of God appears/ Rejoice,Rejoice Emmanuel Shall come to thee O Israel" ~ O come, O come Emmanuel

Although I can't go backwards in time to know what loneliness and longing the Israelites would have felt while waiting for the most important event in history to happen, I feel that sense of expection every time I hear these songs. I am so glad that Emmanuel has come and that He is here. That means that anything is possible for me, for my family and for the world. I heard a beautiful name for God when an aboriginal elder prayed a few days ago "Great mystery". Now I know that God has revealed his character through His Son, but He still has an aura of mystery about Him. He is huge, larger than anything I can wrap my mind around and that makes Him mysterious. My blog is named Magic and Mystery for a reason. I love the sense of wonder that the world has to offer. Take some time to think on the "Great Mystery" tonight as celebrate His arrival to the world tomorrow. Christmas blessings to you all and to all a good night.

Just a reminder that if you are following this on facebook you can find my NEW blog @ magic-and-mystery.blogspot.com .

The Grace of Crying

I am learning the joys or "recreational crying" after avoiding it like the plague for so many years. It all started while I was watching a very depressing movie I had stumbled upon while flicking through the channels. As soon as it started to look like things were going sideways and might become depressing I felt anxiety and the urge to flip the channel. Something inside me snapped and I decided it was time to face the uncomfortable side of the world. (Now granted this movie wasn't real....but the same pattern was happening in my personal life as well). Safe to say I finished the movie balling like a little baby. It was after all a movie about a guy facing the death penalty.

Just last night I finished the book Grace by Richard Paul Evans. It is a beautiful story about a "little match girl", a child runaway who is escaping the horrific abuse in her home. She is helped by a little boy whose life she alters forever. This book is a beautiful story about a boy who chose to face what the rest of society refused to see at the time. While the rest of the world turned their eyes to the horrific events that went on behind closed doors he stared them head on and was scarred forever by what he saw. In the scarring though, he found his calling, a fresh purpose for living. He also discovered a love that withstood time.

There was some beautiful lines in the story that touched my heart. Many of you who followed my old blog know that I love quotes.

"Hard things, if they don't kill you, make you grow. Sometimes they even make you lose fear"

"Eric has given me the greatest Christmas of my life and the greatest gift. I gave him truth, and he still loved me"

"As often happens in life, from our hurts come our greatest blessings"

All these quotes proved to me a great spiritual truth that I had been consistently ignoring. The reason I was stagnant in my life, walking the same circles over and over again is that I categorically refused to walk through the pain to see the other side. I failed to even acknowledge that healing might involve pain. I am there now, acknowledging it, looking at the junk in my life and not trying to make it go away. It has been a hard process but it has also been beautiful too. I feel like I am making some faltering steps that might free from baggage I have been carrying most of my life. That thought scares the crap out of me, but it also excites me. I could surely use a fresh wind.

Magicandmystery has moved!

Welcome to Magicandmystery revisioned! I got jealous of everyone's cute blogs and frustrated with my inability to change anything on Spaces live. I wanted a cute blog dang it!!!! So I scrolled through a few, checked out some free template sites and chose a blogger account! I hope you all enjoy magicandmystery's new home. There will be more blog updates to come, but at the moment I just wanted to welcome you all to the new site. Enjoy!